The Noisy Oyster
 Akron, Ohio      Date of Visit  07/03/12      No Known Website

Our little dogs are headed towards their first professional housing when we travel. This particular puppy camp requires them to be interviewed (Oh Dear) and we head into the falls to see if their quirks will have us seeking other options. Their first encounter with about 25 other dogs starts with an absence of bloodshed, wailing, snarling, or prison break so we have about three hours to kill while they acclimate. A search of the list provides a lunch option with a name that has intrigued me ever since I saw it, The Noisy Oyster.
 

Different Chowder is Less Enjoyable as Time Goes On

We head down into the valley and find a place different from what I had imagined. I don’t know why exactly but I saw more stand alone restaurant in my head. The Noisy Oyster is more a bar in the end of a dirty and desolate strip mall in the Merriman Valley. Uh-oh. We stuck it out. If we didn’t venture into places that seemed unseemly,  we would have missed loads of places like Chap’s Charcoal. I nearly turned around and walked out after opening the door as you are struck with a pervasive and concentrated Eau de men’s room. So that’s what they mean by Eau de toilette!

It took a second for the server/bartender to notice us but when she did she greeted us cheerily and brought some water in frosted bar glasses. She had some issues with consistency but seemed to keep up fairly well. I did drink the water although the smell continued to joust with my sense of well being and faith in the premises. In addition to our server the bar/kichen/bar stool was manned by an older gentleman with a surly demeanor. Think of a thinner Frank Barone from Everyone Love Raymond. He seems the owner but really didn’t get around much.
 

We ordered what the menu calls ravioli espagnole. Turns out they are just fried ravioli, why they share a name with a French mother sauce is beyond me, especially since sauce wasn’t really an option. They arrived unadorned and when Steph asked for something our server said all they had was salsa which turned out to be alright. I tried a cup of their clam chowder. The first few bites were a mixed bag, thick and rich but the clams had been over cooked and had the texture of Hubba Bubba. What distinguished the bowl from others were the assertive herb and vegetable notes which started out interesting but became exhausting as the number of spoons began to add up.
 

Steph ordered crab cakes and received two brown hockey puck shaped discs and the oddest garnish of a little pile of rough chopped iceberg lettuce. The crab cakes were better than they looked with a more ground than chunk texture but pretty good for a bar flavor. They also came with a cocktail sauce that worked pretty well with the ravioli too. I didn’t try the lettuce. I had the daily haddock special which was screaming hot, delicately flaky and fresh tasting all in a crunchy battered shell. Easily the best thing we had. The fries alongside had the two toned shades of skin on/well fried taters but were so greasy they lost their crispness as the pool of fat from the bottom soaked back into the starch.

Average service, fair bar food, it’s the Noisy Oyster. I don’t imagine we will return. I’ve never been told not to eat a noisy oyster…I do know not to eat a smelly one! Just too much.